Episode 147: Dealing With Disappointment
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In Our Conversation Today, We’re Exploring:
How to develop a healthier relationship with disappointment
Where comparison and expectations come into play in our experience of disappointment
How to make sense of disappointment and recognize opportunities to make choices as we grow from that experience
Does this sound familiar to you: You’ve applied to dozens of jobs, gone on countless interviews, put your all into those efforts, and still came up empty-handed?
Or maybe your company had high hopes of going public, did all the preparation work and things just didn’t pan out.
Wherever disappointment has shown up in your life, chances are you were taking a risk or making a change when it did. Today we’re exploring disappointment
And honestly, many of us have a less-than-healthy relationship with disappointment.
Perhaps that’s because, as Rick Hanson tells us, our brains are Teflon for good experiences.
Perhaps it’s because it seems to validate our worst fears:
That we’re not in control
That we’re not measuring up
That we didn’t make the right choices
And the list goes on…
But whatever the reason, one thing is for sure: If you’re taking action, entering the arena, or trying something new, disappointment is inevitable. When we enter the arena disappointment is a fact of doing so. And safeguarding ourselves from disappointment prevents us from having valuable learning experiences. We simply can't do meaningful work without risking potential disappointment.
While we don’t have to continue to accept situations that repeatedly deliver disappointment, we can decide what lessons to take from the experience. We can talk ourselves through the feelings we experience and do our inside work to make sense of them Then, with that new perspective, we are empowered to make decisions in the long and short term. It’s our job to choose how to manage disappointment. And we can often deal with it best by reflecting, moving through the feeling, and discerning our options and the choices to be made.
Plus: We explore how disappointment enters our current cultural conversations from the resignation of New Zealand’s Prime Minister to Olympic athlete Simone Biles stepping down from competition in certain events.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
Rick Hanson https://www.rickhanson.net/overcoming-negativity-bias/
brains = Teflon for good experiences
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