Episode 154: Living With Regret
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In Our Conversation Today, We’re Exploring:
What it really means to feel regret and how to get to the bottom of what’s really happening when this feeling arises
How feelings like guilt, shame, blame, and worry can look and feel a lot like regret
How we can do the work of figuring out if the regret we feel is coming from our own expectations or those of others
Did I make the right decision?
At its core, this is a question of regret: the present feeling we have about a past event where we might have done something differently.
And when feelings of worry, guilt or regret begin to show up it’s helpful to reflect on how truly responsible we are for the events that happen in our lives. We might feel regret over instances where we did something or even those where we failed to do anything.
It can be that voice that says, “I want to fix it now.” or “I wish I did more.” And when we do the inside work of digging to the bottom of what’s happening, we can find ourselves feeling a loss of control, sadness, or even grief. Those “could have”, “would have”, and “should have” moments can really hit us hard because they show us the discrepancy between what we believe our ideal selves to be and how we really acted (or failed to act).
As we process our regret what we may discover is that responsibility is distributed in a more nuanced way than we might expect, that there are small and big moments that lead us to where we are and that regret is a steps towards accepting the complexity of most decisions.
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