Episode 149: Help People Help You

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In Our Conversation Today, We’re Exploring:

  • The inside job and outside action required to become more help-able

  • Three areas where we might have trouble asking for help (and a fourth area where we definitely shouldn’t wait too long)

  • How vulnerability, shame, guilt, and worthiness can impact when we ask for help

  • How managers and employees alike can benefit from our efforts to become more help-able

How can I make it easier for someone to help me?

Today’s conversation is really about the inside job and outside action of becoming more help-able.

Research shows that 50% of people don't ask for help until they’re too overwhelmed to get something done. This resistance to shows up across our personal AND our work lives, from dealing with tough feedback to putting ourselves out there for new opportunities and even looking for support when we don't know where to begin.

We might tell ourselves that no one can help us or that they don't know what we’re looking for.  But in order to grow we need to get better at asking for help in ways big and small.

When it comes down to it, asking for technical help might feel a bit easier but that next level of vulnerability can be far tougher because it involves revealing our big ideas or our big unknowns to someone else.

And worthiness plays a role here too: We may believe deep down that we need to be good at work, don't want people to see us struggle, or that we’ll be seen as ineffective if we ask for help. This pressure tells us we need to figure things out for ourselves and do it quietly because we wouldn't want people to think we can’t do it for ourselves.

So, naturally, asking for help may bring on feelings of shame and guilt and the risk of vulnerability.

But the bottom line is that becoming more helpable is an inside job and it’s not a sign of weakness when we need help from time to time.

Plus Eric disagrees with Ted Lasso about tea and Nayla shares her favorite drink from Starbucks’ secret menu.

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Episode 150: Living With Tough Decisions + 150th Episode Celebration

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Episode 148: Work Is Taking Over My Life