Episode 30: When Workplace Relationships Go South
Ever had an argument with a colleague at work? Been blindsided by a response to an idea in a meeting? Fought with your workplace best friend? We thought so. Us, too! Sometimes, workplace relationships just go south.
We cover three things we think of truths when it comes to workplace relationships in pain:
Some workplace conflict is inevitable
Sometimes we work with people who act like jerks
Sometimes we act like jerks
The workplace is full of decisions, tradeoffs, pressures and high stakes, and many of these are associated with strong emotions, and sometimes, conflict. When conflict happens, many of us feel hurt, disappointed, even targeted, which rubs up against our human desire to have harmony and get along at work. Is that always the goal? We ask our clients (and ourselves) about the continuum between being respected and liked (or feared and loved – thank you, Michael Scott). We argue that conflict can be healthy and productive, as long as it stays respectful, safe and there’s a pathway forward.
Second, we offer that when we face bad behavior from others at work, it’s not enough to follow the guidance to give courageous feedback…That may be a best practice, but it doesn’t adequately offer us a way to make sense of being on the receiving end of someone else’s outburst. Nayla offers a story that illustrates a few ideas for sense-making of a workplace relationship gone wrong. We explore the idea of taking ourselves out of the leading actor role in someone else’s movie, and how to explore the limits of our responsibility for someone’s else actions.
Finally, we admit that each of us has been the jerk at work. These are times when we believe we bear 100% responsibility for our actions (even though that’s difficult!) and that the inside job is about getting better at anticipating, understanding and managing our own behaviors. We explore ideas of body awareness and reflection, and the role of a honest apology when it’s necessary.
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android Devices | RSS
Resources we mention in this episode:
The Great Michael Scott on the Fear/Love continuum: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4M8fqD0wyM
The three conversations concept (fact, feelings, identity) comes from the work of the Triad Group: https://stoneandheen.com/books
This is Water, by David Foster Wallace
Connect with us:
Visit us at www.insidejobthepodcast.com
Email us with your questions, thoughts or ideas for future conversations at info@insidejobthepodcast.com.
Getting something out of our conversations? Show our podcast some love. Please subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app and tell your friends.