Episode 113: You Are Someone’s Difficult Person
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What can we do about difficult people?
Today we’re talking about difficult people – from teammates to bosses to social acquaintances – and what it really means to encounter someone who we feel fits our definition of “difficult”.
Our default move might be to label someone ‘impossible’ because it makes it easier for us to dismiss what’s really happening.
But doing the inside work to understand the source of the conflict, we can find a way forward. We may find a way to like or respect the people we initially labeled as “difficult”.
In Our Conversation Today We’re Exploring:
What we really mean when we call someone “difficult”
What tools and approaches we can use to do the inside work when it comes to engaging with “difficult people”
Why perspective matters when we consider someone difficult and how we might be able to think about things differently
When we find ourselves labeling someone ELSE “difficult”, it absolves us from having to do anything differently. It allows 100% of the responsibility for an unpleasant interaction to rest on the shoulders of another person.
It’s a way of saying,
Of course, it isn’t me. I’m not the problem. It’s them.
That person is difficult!
We acknowledge that we’re not going to get along with everyone. And even if we do take this shorthand approach to a particular person, we still need to find a way to coexist with them.
AND somewhere out there, someone thinks we’re the one who is difficult.
We discuss how we might be able to think about things differently by considering the inside job of coming to the table to debate the problem and not the person when we encounter someone with a different worldview.
We advocate for you to choose to believe that perspectives matter, even those that don’t align with your priorities.
We also share tools and approaches for engaging with “difficult people” and making avoidance an option of last resort.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Ladder of Inference: https://thesystemsthinker.com/the-ladder-of-inference
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