Inside Job

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Episode 39: When The Inner Critic Shows Up

Nayla Bahri

Call it the internal saboteur, the gremlins, the inner critic, or as the great Anne Lamott calls it – KFKD, all of us have heard the internal voice of doubt, fear and discouragement that stops us from the pursuit of the thing we want.  This voice keeps us small and still, and often tricks us because it proports to tell us the truth and keep us safe.

As always, we start with the inside job of noticing that the voice exists in the first place, and that while it shows up as evidence- based, it doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

How we start to notice the inner critic and what do we do?

Sometimes the inner critic is revealed to us in language, often with the word “but”:

  • I would love to go for that job, but I don’t think I have the right experience. 

  • I would love to go for that business idea, but I love the steadiness of my current paycheck.

  • I really want to try that sport, but it would be too expensive to start.

We also have to develop the sophistication and discernment to know how sneaky the inner critic can be.  Sometimes the inner critic is loud and black and white, sometimes the voice is delicate in its deception – we offer examples of both.

We talk about how personifying – giving a visual identify or even a name to our inner critic – can help us relate to his or her voice differently, reminding it that we can handle whatever we’re facing.    It also can spare us from wasting energy “crushing” the inner critic, so that we have the energy to chase what matters.

Finally, invite our listeners to dial down the voice of the inner critic in favor of the other voices we have internally, whether it’s our inner voice of wisdom, our personal board of directors, or our future selves.

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